Avoiding Holiday Stress (and Emotional Eating): Tip Five

Take Care of Yourself

I know, it's easier said than done. And yet--when you do it--everything else really is easier. Learning to allow ourselves to prioritize our own self care is an extremely hard lesson for lots of us to learn--but it's really an essential first step. I know that many tip sheets for coping with holiday stress trumpet the value of self care, but I've worked hard to create a way to make it a lot more do-able. Here's my end-of-year gift to you: a Self-care Package(tm). The Self-care Package(tm) I've created consists of five quick-and-to-the-point audio lessons. There's absolutely no cost. Just go here and look in the upper right-hand corner of the page. Or you can use the form in the top right-hand corner of this blog. Once a week for five weeks you'll be emailed a link to a very short (about 3 minutes) audio with concrete steps (and assignments) aimed at helping you improve your self-care and get on track for 2008. I designed the weekly package deliveries to be straightforward and absolutely possible to accomplish. Check it out and leave a comment below to let me know what you think.

Take good care,

Melissa

Avoiding Holiday Weight Gain--a resource

Karly Randolph Pitman has written a lovely article about avoiding holiday weight gain and overwhelm. There's an incredible wealth of food for thought here (pun intended), so read deep and enjoy. I especially resonate with Karly's emphasis on how vital it is that we stay connected to ourselves and to our spirit. The words I tend to use are passion and purpose. When we are able to learn to use passion and purpose to fuel our lives, food and over eating become so much less central.

Karly blogs on a range of topics that I think will strike a chord with you if you like what you read here. She had some nice things to say about Peace With Cake and as you can see, the praise is reciprocal.

Take good care,

Melissa

Avoiding Holiday Stress (and Emotional Eating): Tip Four

Say "No" So You Can Say "Yes"

We can only do what we can do. Really. And, if we want to do it well, we should usually only try to do one thing at a time. I've worked with many women who seemed to believe that if they tried hard enough or learned to get it just right, they would find a way to plant more hours in their day and get more done. Not true. Actually, sometimes the mark of a truly competent person is being able to say (with great truthfulness), "This is really all that I can do." Also, as much as our consumer-driven society would like you to believe it, more ISN'T necessarily better. In most situations, a job well done--quality work (as my son's teachers call it)--trumps more work in terms of how we end up feeling about it. Five pounds lost with comfort and forever feels much more satisfying than ten pounds lost in a carb fast that you know will come back as soon as you lose your "willpower" and eat toast again. The perfect gift that hits just the right chord is ten times more valuable than five gifts that the recipient doesn't value.

This season, try doing less.

You may have noticed a theme in these "emotional eating and stress" posts. Move deliberately, at a pace and in a way that works for you. Know where you are going and move in that direction. In order to do those things, we need to know what we are passionate about--what drives us and where we want to go, and we need to know where and how we find our purpose--why we want to go where we are headed. We also need to be mindful of wrong turns and detours and bright shiny objects that might distract us from our path.

It's a great exercise to practice being alert for the detours and wrong turns--the requests and demands that pull on us that we really don't want or need to spend our energy on. Learn to be aware of them, and--I challenge you to practice saying, "No."

Saying "No" to the things you need to--dead weight obligations that drag you down and don't take you anywhere--creates powerful space and energy in your life for the things connected to your passion and your purpose. That is the space where quality comes from and that is the space where you will create the experiences that you will savor this season and the rest of the year.

Here's my challenge for you: Make a list of three things or "obligations" (big or small) that are keeping you from spending your energy in more valuable places. Now, devise a way to either eliminate them (say "No"), or limit the time and energy they take in your life.

Take good care,

Melissa

Avoiding Holiday Stress (and Emotional Eating): Tip Three

Slow down

Being present and centered allows us to make choices that are planned and deliberate. Being present is what allows us to carefully look at the appetizer tray and decide whether we are hungry and what really looks good. When we’re stressed or in a rush, we often skip that step. As if by magic, our hand reaches out, we fill our plate with food, eat it without really tasting, don’t register much about the taste, and don’t assess whether we are still hungry or whether we are full until much later down the line.

This season, I challenge you to practice slowing down and being present. Make a ritual out of taking five minutes every morning. Use the time to notice how you are doing.

1. What are you thinking about? Each day, write down the one-three things that you could do that would relieve the most pressure on your to-do list and set your goal to get those things accomplished.


2. Notice how you are feeling Are you tired? Sluggish? Excited? If you notice something that could be improved with self-care (such as noticing that you aren’t getting enough sleep or activity), make a quick plan to start to remedy the situation. This probably isn’t the time to undertake a major life transformation, but you can set the intention of taking a brisk walk on your lunch hour or getting to bed thirty minutes earlier.

Too often, if we don’t recognize our need for self-care and if we don’t give ourselves permission to slow down, we’ll resort to food and overeating to fill in the gaps or dampen down the stress or comfort us when we’re tired. Being pro-active by allowing yourself some consistent time to slow down and take stock will help you take control of stressful situations and minimize emotional eating.

Take good care,
Melissa

Avoiding Holiday Stress (and Emotional Eating): Tip Two

Savoring and the things you really do have to do

What are the holiday activities and rituals that you enjoy? The ones that revitalize you or give you a peaceful feeling, or that you look forward to each year? Take the time—now—to make a list of your holiday “musts.” Not the “have tos” but the “this is what makes it all worthwhile” experiences.

Now (yes now!) take out your calendar and make sure you have them all prominently scheduled. Don’t just count on them to happen naturally. These “musts” are important. Your holiday joy and energy is going to flow from these experiences and the feelings they generate. Take some time to think about how you can maximize these experiences—how can you savor them fully or increase your ability to focus on them.

Savoring is often the variable that makes the difference between a delightful, soul-warming experience and overindulgence. When we are savoring—whether it is savoring music or good company or your Aunt Mabel’s rum balls—we are nourishing ourselves. When we aren’t tuned in enough to savor, we’re just taking it in. We are much more likely to end up tired, over-stimulated, worn out, and with a sugar hangover.

So what would it take to savor the “musts” on your list even more than you already do? Would it require blocking out more time so you won’t have to rush? Planning something in advance? Delegating? Saying “no” to some other things so you have energy to enjoy the important experience? I challenge you to take the top three experiences you selected and come up with one thing you could do, ask for, or not do that would make the experience even better.

Add a comment and share your list—or the ideas and plans you have to maximize your savoring.

Take good care,

Melissa

Avoiding Holiday Stress (and Emotional Eating): Tip One

This month I'm going to share some of my best ideas for staying in touch with the spirit of the holidays and avoiding the feelings of stress and overwhelm that tend to lead down the road to emotional eating.

Tip One: Noticing

Do you know how powerful it is to really be seen? To have someone look at us and acknowledge our accomplishments, our efforts, our intentions? Close your eyes and imagine someone telling you they see the efforts you make to be the person you want to be.

They might say:
"I see how much courage it took for you to make that presentation to the boss."
or
"It's clear to me how much you value your children."
or
"I notice that you are really trying your hardest to pay off those credit cards."
or
"I notice how hard you work to make the holidays special for everyone."

Most of us DO work very hard at the things that are important to us. Unfortunately, during times of stress or of increased demands, it's easy to get focused on what is "undone" rather than what "is done."

This month, I challenge you to set a goal of "noticing" each of your family members (feel free to try it with colleagues too!) three times a day. It doesn't have to be anything major. Simply acknowledge either their efforts or their intentions.

"I notice that you set the table and I appreciate it."
"I noticed how hard you were working not to let her frustrate you."
"I notice how you always keep your car spotless. It must take a lot of effort."
"I notice that were really frustrated with those Christmas lights but you kept going anyway and now they are up and they look great."
"I notice that in spite of how busy you are, you made my email a priority and it really helped me out."

I think you will be amazed at how far a little noticing goes. When you acknowledge someone, the impact reverberates. It's contagious. It lightens the mood and creates a focus on the positive and on possibility. It absolutely reduces stress.

Take good care,
Melissa

The Mom Song: for everyone who is a mom or who has one

Check this out and then I'll tell you what "The Mom Song" has to do with emotional eating. If you've ever been a child OR a mom, I think you'll love this clip.



Is it any wonder that overeating, nibbling, grazing and even bingeing become a "convenient" way to temporarily deal with our needs? When we're busy, when we feel responsible for multiple people and multiple obligations, when we are working to balance multiple roles, it's tempting to neglect our own needs, to take a "short cut" and do the easiest, most immediate thing that might "make ourselves feel better."

Eating a cookie (or two or six) doesn't require a lot of time, it doesn't make demands on others, it doesn't require us to assert ourselves or disappoint anyone else. But--as we all know, in the long run, the food we eat in an attempt to cope with our emotions, our anxiety, our boredom, our tiredness, or anything else besides hunger, doesn't accomplish anything permanently helpful.

As we move into the holiday season, the demands on most of us (moms or not) are likely to increase. "The most wonderful time of the year" can also be an incredibly stressful time. I'll be encouraging my clients (and reminding myself) to SLOW DOWN and identify and focus on the really important stuff.

If you want some extra help, you might want to take a look at the Emotional Eating Toolbox, a 28-Day program focused on teaching you the tools to move beyond emotional eating so that you can get on with the life you want to live.

Take good care,

Melissa

Gratitude and Emotional Eating

This week as I'm checking recipes and making grocery lists and making a mad dash out to the store to buy a jelly roll pan, I'm reminding myself that Thanksgiving isn't REALLY about the food. Thanksgiving is about gratitude.

Giving thanks and acknowledging what we are grateful for is the inspired part of the holiday. Too often,the rituals of gratitude get lost behind the pumpkin pie making, the football games and the frantic calls to the Butterball hotline.

Did you know that there is research showing that taking time out to identify and name the good in our lives on a regular basis increases our feelings of well being and contentment? Note the phrase, "taking time out." That's often hard for many of us, but in this case, it doesn't need to take a lot of time and the pay off can be immediate.

This "counting your blessings" ritual can be addictive. In one study, researchers asked their subjects to, every evening for one week, write down three things that had gone well that day and to note why each good thing had occurred. They found that people who did the exercise reported increases in happiness and decreases in depression that were still present six months after the study was over. It turned out that 60% of the subjects had decided to continue the ritual on their own (or with their partners or families) and were still counting the good things six months later.

I'm guessing you know how hard it is to start and maintain a new habit. People decided to continue this gratitude ritual on their own and it stuck. Gratitude is powerful stuff!

Taking control of emotional eating involves very similar steps of slowing down, being deliberate, being present, and learningto move your focus beyond self-critical blame and judgment. I'm not aware of any studies examining emotional eating or over eating and gratitude, but I don't doubt that gratitude is a powerful tool.

This holiday weekend, take the time. Whether you are cooking or setting the table or watching football or participating in a Turkey Trot. Slow down. Be present. Look around you. Taste, smell, touch. Listen to the others at the table. Look into their faces. And count your blessings.

Cheers and good wishes,

Melissa

Researching Alternatives to Weight Loss Surgery

The University of Buffalo announced today that they have partnered with a major insurance company to undertake a five year study of alternatives to weight loss surgery for those who are 100 pounds or more overweight.

According to an overview of the study, participants will be divided into four groups and will test four different combinations of behavior modification, lifestyle changes, meal replacement, counseling and medication over the next five years. Researchers cite the importance of identifying effective options for severely overweight individuals. Kudos to them. The annual cost of obesity in the United States is 117 billion and that doesn't begin to factor in the emotional and physical pain and suffering that accompanies chronic weight struggles. Gastric bypass surgeries increased 1000% between 1995 and 2005.

Researchers say that all four groups in the experiment will receive education in two critical areas: relapse prevention and motivational strategies. I hope they hit these areas hard.

Everyone who struggles with their weight knows how important it is to learn how to keep the weight off. Preventing relapse means developing strategies for feeding yourself that you can maintain--for life. Weight loss surgery patients know this too.

Enduring weight loss means so much more than changing what we eat. We all face pressures to use food to feed our feelings, combat stress, be social and have fun. If we don't have the right tools to address these pressures or if we aren't aware of our own individual vulnerabilities, the weight will come back.

If you've lost weight, I'd love to hear from you. Please leave a comment. What has helped you lose the weight? Keep it off? What important lessons have you learned and where have you struggled?

Melissa

NIH study identifies the role of Emotional Eating as "significant"

The journal Obesity just published a study of 286 overweight men and women. They conclude that emotional eaters--individuals who report eating in response to thoughts and feelings--are more likely to regain the weight they lose. In a related study of 3345 adults, the authors found that individuals who eat because of internal reasons, such as feeling lonely or as a reward, lost less weight then the group of individuals who didn't eat to cope with internal feelings or thoughts.

“Our results suggest that we need to pay more attention to eating triggered by emotions or thoughts as they clearly play a significant role in weight loss. Current treatments provide minimal assistance with eating in response to feelings or thoughts," states Heather Niemeier, one of the obesity researchers from Brown University. She adds, “Modifying our treatments to address these triggers for unhealthy eating and help patients learn alternative strategies could improve their ability to maintain weight loss behaviors, even in the face of affective and cognitive difficulties.”

And that is why the Emotional Eating Toolbox (TM) is such a unique and important tool. The 28-day, self-guided study program helps you identify your own unique pattern of emotional eating. As you work through the steps of the Toolbox, your individual responses lead you through steps to define a concrete plan that addresses your specific eating patterns. Once people acquire the tools to take control of their emotional eating, eating for weight loss becomes so much less complicated. People who struggle with emotional eating already know that if you don't find a way to gain control of your emotional eating patterns, it really doesn't matter how many diet tips you learn. Because the why you eat is so much more powerful than the what you eat. Or, as a client recently told me, once you have the "why" under control, the "what" is just easier.

Take good care,

Melissa

More weight loss information

WLS Lifestyles magazine has recently expanded their focus to include a broad range of issues related to obesity, successful weight loss and healthy weight maintenance. I love to help weight loss surgery patients meet their goals after surgery and have been a contributing writer to the magazine for some time. I am thrilled to have been asked to host an expert blog on their new and vastly expanded website. Come visit and be sure to leave a comment! I'd love some input on blog topics.

Melissa

Mindless Eating

Mindless Eating: Why We Eat More Than We Think by Brian Wansink

Have you read this book? If not, I highly recommend it. Mindless Eating is an interesting, easy to read exploration of, well, just what the title says--mindless eating. Lots of intriguing information about how mindlessly we all eat--and how powerful external forces can be in influencing how much we put into our mouths.

Wansink says that we make over 200 food-related choices every day and he points out many of the influences that can lead us to eat more than we think we are or more than we might really be hungry for. It's not a "how-to" book but it left me thinking about lots of little things in my own life and household including the size and shape of my drinking glasses (read it--you'll see).

Reading Mindless Eating also had me thinking about mindlessness in general. Most of us spend an amazing amount of time in a rather mindless, auto-pilot zone. Do you remember your last bite of food--not what you ate--do you really remember actually chewing and swallowing it? Did you see what your spouse was wearing this morning? Did you hear the radio in your car on the way to work? So much of the time we aren't really present. Not being present is often the first step down the slippery slope of emotional overeating.

Take an inventory of the biggest components of mindlessness in your life. What are the things you do routinely that encourage mindlessness? Surfing the internet? Watching reruns on Nick at Nite that you've already seen ten times? Video games?

If you are feeling courageous, I challenge you to estimate the time you spend each day in activities that you KNOW encourage mindlessness. Now list the things you do on a regular basis that help you be more present, more focused and more attentive in your life. How's the balance?

What is one thing you can do to shift the balance one small centimeter towards more mindfulness? Pick one thing that you could add or eliminate that would help you be more present in your life.

Melissa

PS: I just added a new link where I can post books I love and recommend. Mindless Eating is there and I'll keep adding to it. I'd love to hear your suggestions too.

Are you enjoying the food you eat?

It's the beginning of a lovely Fall day here and I'm struck by the way this season hits all the senses--the rich colors, the crisp temperatures, the crunchy leaves. .

The foods I associate with Fall are sensory treats too. Crunchy apples, warm and great smelling soups that simmer and fill the house with great smells and my stomach with warmth.

To take control of emotional eating, it's important to work at being present when we eat. Food is NOT the enemy. Take the time to breathe deep and experience and savor the food you put into your mouth today. If you are stuck in a cycle of dieting and judgment and self-criticism, remind yourself that nourishing yourself is a positive act--an act of compassion. Choose something you are hungry for. Something that tastes really fantastic, that has the texture you crave, that really feeds your hunger. When you are ready to eat it, take your time. Practice savoring. It's important.

Are you truly enjoying the food you eat? Do you make eating choices that leave you feeling good? Do you feel like you are in charge of your relationship with food? Tomorrow is the last day that the Emotional Eating Toolbox(tm) 28-Day Self Guided program will be available at the pre-sale discount.

Melissa

Are you ready to leave the diet madness behind?

If you are feeling alone or stuck in your journey with emotional eating, there are options.

One of the main reasons I developed the Emotional Eating Toolbox(tm) 28-Day Self-guided Daily Action Plan was to be able to share the tools that I use with private clients on a much broader basis. The program walks you, step by step, through an individualized 28-day program that will teach you the tools you need to re-design your relationship with food and take back the control it has over your life. With the Daily Action Plan Workbook and the Audio Companion CDs, I am able to help you structure each day and each step of the program in a way that fits with your needs and your schedule.

Right now, there is an unusual opportunity to combine the Emotional Eating Toolbox (tm) with an Emotional Eating Coaching Group at tremendous savings. The coaching groups are small and very powerful tools for helping you stay on track, build motivation, feel supported, and--very importantly--work through the really tough spots that have tripped you up in the past. There are two groups starting up in the next month and they will probably be the last groups for 2007.

Hope to see you there,

Melissa

By the way, the groups are tele-groups. That means we meet by phone. People call in from all over, from all time zones whether they are in their work clothes or their fuzzy slippers.

Is gaining sleep a key to losing weight?

Researchers continue to learn more about the relationship between reduced sleep and weight gain. If you are feeling out of control with food, eating or weight it is something important to pay attention to.

Do you overeat when you are tired? I know I do. It's easy to mistake feelings of tiredness for hunger, and it's tempting to eat when we're tired to try to increase our energy or alertness.

Now we are learning that being low on sleep can actually cause you to be hungrier and that skimping on sleep may cause weight gain whether or not you eat more!

Short-term sleep deprivation seems to lower levels of leptin, a hormone that tells us when we are full, and increase levels of the hormone ghrelin, which promotes appetite. Have you had the experience after a night of little sleep where you feel like you can eat everything in sight and never feel full? That's likely the low leptin, high ghrelin effect. In one study, of 12 males whose sleep was restricted for two days, appetite increased dramatically, as did the desire for sweets, starch and salty foods. In fact, cravings for high carbohydrate, high calorie foods increased by 45 percent!

Sleep restriction seems to cause physiologic effects that may actually predispose one to gain weight, and this may be at least partially independent of how much you eat. In a study involving over 68,000 women who were followed for 16 years, knowing that a subject usually slept less than seven hours a night was predictive of weight gain, including a substantial increased risk of major weight gain (greater than 33 pounds over the sixteen years) and obesity. Women who regularly slept five hours or less were 32% more likely to have gained at least 33 pounds over the 16 years than those who slept 7-8 hours.

Even when researchers controlled for levels of caloric intake and activity, those who slept less gained more weight. The weight gain was not accounted for by the amount of food that was eaten!

Other studies of men and women have documented higher levels of body fat in individuals who sleep less than 8 hours a night. Although the complicated relationship between sleep and weight is far from well understood, certain findings seem to be consistent, and at least one point seems clear. Sleep is not a variable that should be overlooked in anyone’s self care.

For busy people, sleep is often the first thing to go when the to-do list gets too crowded. It's a huge mistake—for lots of different reasons—and staying in control of your relationship with food is one of them.

Melissa

The Number One Mistake Emotional Eaters Make

It has nothing to do with food--but it flavors everything.

The number one mistake people make when they are trying to gain control of emotional overeating is that they get mad at themselves and beat themselves up emotionally when things don't go as planned, when they have a slip,or when they overeat. Self-critical judgment is a dead-end place.

You tell yourself you're "wrong" or "bad" or "hopeless." You "screwed up" and you'll have to do better tomorrow.

Like children, adults don't thrive with punishment and negative words. Think about it. How often is the moment that you decide you've "blown it again" the very same moment you decide to go ahead and finish the bag of chips or the cookie dough or the what-ever you just got mad at yourself for eating?

Judgment and self blame are negative, closed, dead-end places.They do nothing to encourage creative problem solving, optimism, resourcefulness--the very things needed to move forward in your emotional eating journey. In fact, when we pile on the self-blame and the guilt, we're more likely to want to go to bed and pull the covers up over our head than we are to want to keep moving forward.

Curiosity is the opposite of judgment. Curiosity is the tool of problem solvers. Curiosity is one of the most powerful tools you can learn to use in making peace with food. Curiosity provides the power to ask questions that will open doors and propel you forward in a journey to take the power back from food and diet. Curiosity allows you to see options and opportunity and new solutions. It's the avenue for learning how to "do it differently."

It's impossible to be absolutely curious and full of self-judgment at the same time.

It might be hard to imagine changing old habits of self blame and that feeling that you "deserve" to be hard on yourself, but my clients are amazed at how powerful that shift feels when they learn how to make it--and how much momentum it provides.

Three ways to engage your curiosity:

Next time you are struggling with your eating/weight/relationshipwith food, try on the following questions. Work to suspend judgmentand approach the questions and your answers with curiosity:

1. What do I know about what made today (this afternoon, this week) so difficult for me? What contributed to my struggles?
2. How was today (a difficult day) different from yesterday which was a little bit better? Is there anything I could learn from the difference that I might incorporate into my life or routine?
3. What was going on for me before I overate? What could I have done insteadof eating?

Learning to let go of the self-blame and embrace a curious mindset is a major component of the 28-Day Emotional Eating Toolbox (TM) program. If you are interested, you can also enroll in a program that includes the Toolbox Self-guided program AND small group coaching.

Mindful Eating: Transforming Your Relationship With Food

Are you sick of yo-yo dieting?

Do you weigh yourself more than once a week?

Do you spend more time thinking about food and diet then you spend thinking about your life?

For many women (and men, but especially women), making peace with food is a crucial step in getting on with their life and creating the life they want to live. Many successful, intelligent, highly talented people tell me that food/weight/diet is the one area of their life in which they feel incapable. Diet's don't work--they just keep people dieting (and gaining and losing and binging and miserable). Making peace with food not only allows people to begin eating normally again, it really allows you to get on with your life, without food and weight and eating decisions swallowing way-too-much of your energy. Emotional eating is a term that is used to describe eating in response to our emotions or feelings vs. our physiological hunger.

Top 10 signs that you are eating emotionally:

1. The hunger comes on suddenly and the need to eat feels urgent--physiological hunger comes on slowly and it's okay to delay eating.
2. You keep eating even if you aren't hungry anymore or the hunger doesn't go away even though you are full.
3. You eat to the point of physical discomfort.
4. You don't know whether you were hungry or not when you ate.
5. After you eat you realize you aren't really aware of how much you ate or how it tasted.
6. You have feelings of shame, guilt or embarrassment after eating.
7. You eat because you are bored, tired, lonely, excited.
8. Hunger accompanies an unpleasant emotion--anger, hurt, fear, anxiety. Emotional eating begins in your mind--thinking about food--not in your stomach.
9. You crave a specific food and won't feel content until you have that. If you are eating for physical hunger, any food will fill you up.
10. You keep eating (or grazing, or nibbling) because you just can't figure out what you are hungry for. Nothing seems to hit the spot (physical hunger goes away no matter what food you choose to fill up on).

Mindful eating is a term used to describe a way of eating which uses internal cues about hunger, appetite and fullness to guide our relationship with food. It involves listening to your body to know what and when you need to eat. Dieting, restricting and counting calories or fat grams and focusing on weight are not components of mindful eating. Mindful eating requires learning what to do when what your body and mind need and want are not food.

If you struggle with emotional eating, here are 3 things you can do to begin to transform your relationship with food:

1. Slow down
   Learning and change don't occur when we are operating on auto-pilot. Slowing down allows us the space to make conscious observations and choices about our behavior. Slow the pace of your eating. Put the food on a plate. Don't multi-task while you are eating--give your food your complete attention.
2. Pay attention to hunger Make it a practice to notice how hungry you are before you start to eat. If you don't feel physically hungry, notice that and begin to investigate what that's about. Notice when you choose to stop eating and how full and comfortable or uncomfortable you are at that time.
3. Ask questions
   One of the most powerful things you can do is to work at cultivating curiosity about your feelings and your behaviors. If you find yourself eating because you are stressed, tired, angry or bored, ask yourself what other coping strategies you have for dealing with these feelings. What choices do you have besides eating?

Is emotional over-eating an area you need to work on? Taking control of emotional eating is a process, but one that is well worth it. Taking the time to learn the tools to re-create your relationship with food and your eating allows you to move beyond the restrictive, self-critical diet mentality and get on with our life.

Starting with mindful eating creates a ripple effect--like throwing a pebble into a pond. When you learn to slow down and be mindful of your eating, learn to recognize and respond to your hunger cues and cravings (no small tasks!), you realize that most of the time when you are obsessing about food, you aren't really hungry. When you can figure out what to be mindful of and what to do instead of focusing on food, the ripples lead most people to lives where food takes up so much less time and energy and their minds are freed up to do much more powerful things.

I see people who tackle mindful eating grow and expand in so many different ways when they are no longer trapped in the food-diet craziness. It's so powerful that it's become a major area in which I work with people.

Ending Emotional Eating: How to Begin

A first blog post is like a first step in any new direction.The decision to take the step often feels like a much bigger deal than the actual step itself.

And yet, if we get caught up in making sure that very first step is absolutely perfect--obsessing about every little detail and nuance--we may find ourselves frozen and not moving forward at all. Stuck before we've even begun.

As I sat here wondering about how to begin this blog, I realized that the paralysis I was feeling is similar to what we may feel when we contemplate the idea of changing our relationship with food, with our bodies, with dieting and eating and weight.

If we let ourselves think too far ahead, the goal can quickly seem so big and overwhelming that we feel afraid--or don't know where--to start. And yet, it's in starting that change begins--just like it's in writing that I begin to see this blog unfold.

Our steps don't need to be perfect, they just need to be steps.

Steps are the most powerful actions we can take.

So away we go . . .

Take care,

Melissa