Avoiding Holiday Stress (and Emotional Eating): Tip One

This month I'm going to share some of my best ideas for staying in touch with the spirit of the holidays and avoiding the feelings of stress and overwhelm that tend to lead down the road to emotional eating.

Tip One: Noticing

Do you know how powerful it is to really be seen? To have someone look at us and acknowledge our accomplishments, our efforts, our intentions? Close your eyes and imagine someone telling you they see the efforts you make to be the person you want to be.

They might say:
"I see how much courage it took for you to make that presentation to the boss."
or
"It's clear to me how much you value your children."
or
"I notice that you are really trying your hardest to pay off those credit cards."
or
"I notice how hard you work to make the holidays special for everyone."

Most of us DO work very hard at the things that are important to us. Unfortunately, during times of stress or of increased demands, it's easy to get focused on what is "undone" rather than what "is done."

This month, I challenge you to set a goal of "noticing" each of your family members (feel free to try it with colleagues too!) three times a day. It doesn't have to be anything major. Simply acknowledge either their efforts or their intentions.

"I notice that you set the table and I appreciate it."
"I noticed how hard you were working not to let her frustrate you."
"I notice how you always keep your car spotless. It must take a lot of effort."
"I notice that were really frustrated with those Christmas lights but you kept going anyway and now they are up and they look great."
"I notice that in spite of how busy you are, you made my email a priority and it really helped me out."

I think you will be amazed at how far a little noticing goes. When you acknowledge someone, the impact reverberates. It's contagious. It lightens the mood and creates a focus on the positive and on possibility. It absolutely reduces stress.

Take good care,
Melissa

The Mom Song: for everyone who is a mom or who has one

Check this out and then I'll tell you what "The Mom Song" has to do with emotional eating. If you've ever been a child OR a mom, I think you'll love this clip.



Is it any wonder that overeating, nibbling, grazing and even bingeing become a "convenient" way to temporarily deal with our needs? When we're busy, when we feel responsible for multiple people and multiple obligations, when we are working to balance multiple roles, it's tempting to neglect our own needs, to take a "short cut" and do the easiest, most immediate thing that might "make ourselves feel better."

Eating a cookie (or two or six) doesn't require a lot of time, it doesn't make demands on others, it doesn't require us to assert ourselves or disappoint anyone else. But--as we all know, in the long run, the food we eat in an attempt to cope with our emotions, our anxiety, our boredom, our tiredness, or anything else besides hunger, doesn't accomplish anything permanently helpful.

As we move into the holiday season, the demands on most of us (moms or not) are likely to increase. "The most wonderful time of the year" can also be an incredibly stressful time. I'll be encouraging my clients (and reminding myself) to SLOW DOWN and identify and focus on the really important stuff.

If you want some extra help, you might want to take a look at the Emotional Eating Toolbox, a 28-Day program focused on teaching you the tools to move beyond emotional eating so that you can get on with the life you want to live.

Take good care,

Melissa

Gratitude and Emotional Eating

This week as I'm checking recipes and making grocery lists and making a mad dash out to the store to buy a jelly roll pan, I'm reminding myself that Thanksgiving isn't REALLY about the food. Thanksgiving is about gratitude.

Giving thanks and acknowledging what we are grateful for is the inspired part of the holiday. Too often,the rituals of gratitude get lost behind the pumpkin pie making, the football games and the frantic calls to the Butterball hotline.

Did you know that there is research showing that taking time out to identify and name the good in our lives on a regular basis increases our feelings of well being and contentment? Note the phrase, "taking time out." That's often hard for many of us, but in this case, it doesn't need to take a lot of time and the pay off can be immediate.

This "counting your blessings" ritual can be addictive. In one study, researchers asked their subjects to, every evening for one week, write down three things that had gone well that day and to note why each good thing had occurred. They found that people who did the exercise reported increases in happiness and decreases in depression that were still present six months after the study was over. It turned out that 60% of the subjects had decided to continue the ritual on their own (or with their partners or families) and were still counting the good things six months later.

I'm guessing you know how hard it is to start and maintain a new habit. People decided to continue this gratitude ritual on their own and it stuck. Gratitude is powerful stuff!

Taking control of emotional eating involves very similar steps of slowing down, being deliberate, being present, and learningto move your focus beyond self-critical blame and judgment. I'm not aware of any studies examining emotional eating or over eating and gratitude, but I don't doubt that gratitude is a powerful tool.

This holiday weekend, take the time. Whether you are cooking or setting the table or watching football or participating in a Turkey Trot. Slow down. Be present. Look around you. Taste, smell, touch. Listen to the others at the table. Look into their faces. And count your blessings.

Cheers and good wishes,

Melissa

Researching Alternatives to Weight Loss Surgery

The University of Buffalo announced today that they have partnered with a major insurance company to undertake a five year study of alternatives to weight loss surgery for those who are 100 pounds or more overweight.

According to an overview of the study, participants will be divided into four groups and will test four different combinations of behavior modification, lifestyle changes, meal replacement, counseling and medication over the next five years. Researchers cite the importance of identifying effective options for severely overweight individuals. Kudos to them. The annual cost of obesity in the United States is 117 billion and that doesn't begin to factor in the emotional and physical pain and suffering that accompanies chronic weight struggles. Gastric bypass surgeries increased 1000% between 1995 and 2005.

Researchers say that all four groups in the experiment will receive education in two critical areas: relapse prevention and motivational strategies. I hope they hit these areas hard.

Everyone who struggles with their weight knows how important it is to learn how to keep the weight off. Preventing relapse means developing strategies for feeding yourself that you can maintain--for life. Weight loss surgery patients know this too.

Enduring weight loss means so much more than changing what we eat. We all face pressures to use food to feed our feelings, combat stress, be social and have fun. If we don't have the right tools to address these pressures or if we aren't aware of our own individual vulnerabilities, the weight will come back.

If you've lost weight, I'd love to hear from you. Please leave a comment. What has helped you lose the weight? Keep it off? What important lessons have you learned and where have you struggled?

Melissa

NIH study identifies the role of Emotional Eating as "significant"

The journal Obesity just published a study of 286 overweight men and women. They conclude that emotional eaters--individuals who report eating in response to thoughts and feelings--are more likely to regain the weight they lose. In a related study of 3345 adults, the authors found that individuals who eat because of internal reasons, such as feeling lonely or as a reward, lost less weight then the group of individuals who didn't eat to cope with internal feelings or thoughts.

“Our results suggest that we need to pay more attention to eating triggered by emotions or thoughts as they clearly play a significant role in weight loss. Current treatments provide minimal assistance with eating in response to feelings or thoughts," states Heather Niemeier, one of the obesity researchers from Brown University. She adds, “Modifying our treatments to address these triggers for unhealthy eating and help patients learn alternative strategies could improve their ability to maintain weight loss behaviors, even in the face of affective and cognitive difficulties.”

And that is why the Emotional Eating Toolbox (TM) is such a unique and important tool. The 28-day, self-guided study program helps you identify your own unique pattern of emotional eating. As you work through the steps of the Toolbox, your individual responses lead you through steps to define a concrete plan that addresses your specific eating patterns. Once people acquire the tools to take control of their emotional eating, eating for weight loss becomes so much less complicated. People who struggle with emotional eating already know that if you don't find a way to gain control of your emotional eating patterns, it really doesn't matter how many diet tips you learn. Because the why you eat is so much more powerful than the what you eat. Or, as a client recently told me, once you have the "why" under control, the "what" is just easier.

Take good care,

Melissa

More weight loss information

WLS Lifestyles magazine has recently expanded their focus to include a broad range of issues related to obesity, successful weight loss and healthy weight maintenance. I love to help weight loss surgery patients meet their goals after surgery and have been a contributing writer to the magazine for some time. I am thrilled to have been asked to host an expert blog on their new and vastly expanded website. Come visit and be sure to leave a comment! I'd love some input on blog topics.

Melissa