Avoiding Holiday Weight Gain--a resource

Karly Randolph Pitman has written a lovely article about avoiding holiday weight gain and overwhelm. There's an incredible wealth of food for thought here (pun intended), so read deep and enjoy. I especially resonate with Karly's emphasis on how vital it is that we stay connected to ourselves and to our spirit. The words I tend to use are passion and purpose. When we are able to learn to use passion and purpose to fuel our lives, food and over eating become so much less central.

Karly blogs on a range of topics that I think will strike a chord with you if you like what you read here. She had some nice things to say about Peace With Cake and as you can see, the praise is reciprocal.

Take good care,

Melissa

Avoiding Holiday Stress (and Emotional Eating): Tip Four

Say "No" So You Can Say "Yes"

We can only do what we can do. Really. And, if we want to do it well, we should usually only try to do one thing at a time. I've worked with many women who seemed to believe that if they tried hard enough or learned to get it just right, they would find a way to plant more hours in their day and get more done. Not true. Actually, sometimes the mark of a truly competent person is being able to say (with great truthfulness), "This is really all that I can do." Also, as much as our consumer-driven society would like you to believe it, more ISN'T necessarily better. In most situations, a job well done--quality work (as my son's teachers call it)--trumps more work in terms of how we end up feeling about it. Five pounds lost with comfort and forever feels much more satisfying than ten pounds lost in a carb fast that you know will come back as soon as you lose your "willpower" and eat toast again. The perfect gift that hits just the right chord is ten times more valuable than five gifts that the recipient doesn't value.

This season, try doing less.

You may have noticed a theme in these "emotional eating and stress" posts. Move deliberately, at a pace and in a way that works for you. Know where you are going and move in that direction. In order to do those things, we need to know what we are passionate about--what drives us and where we want to go, and we need to know where and how we find our purpose--why we want to go where we are headed. We also need to be mindful of wrong turns and detours and bright shiny objects that might distract us from our path.

It's a great exercise to practice being alert for the detours and wrong turns--the requests and demands that pull on us that we really don't want or need to spend our energy on. Learn to be aware of them, and--I challenge you to practice saying, "No."

Saying "No" to the things you need to--dead weight obligations that drag you down and don't take you anywhere--creates powerful space and energy in your life for the things connected to your passion and your purpose. That is the space where quality comes from and that is the space where you will create the experiences that you will savor this season and the rest of the year.

Here's my challenge for you: Make a list of three things or "obligations" (big or small) that are keeping you from spending your energy in more valuable places. Now, devise a way to either eliminate them (say "No"), or limit the time and energy they take in your life.

Take good care,

Melissa

Avoiding Holiday Stress (and Emotional Eating): Tip Three

Slow down

Being present and centered allows us to make choices that are planned and deliberate. Being present is what allows us to carefully look at the appetizer tray and decide whether we are hungry and what really looks good. When we’re stressed or in a rush, we often skip that step. As if by magic, our hand reaches out, we fill our plate with food, eat it without really tasting, don’t register much about the taste, and don’t assess whether we are still hungry or whether we are full until much later down the line.

This season, I challenge you to practice slowing down and being present. Make a ritual out of taking five minutes every morning. Use the time to notice how you are doing.

1. What are you thinking about? Each day, write down the one-three things that you could do that would relieve the most pressure on your to-do list and set your goal to get those things accomplished.


2. Notice how you are feeling Are you tired? Sluggish? Excited? If you notice something that could be improved with self-care (such as noticing that you aren’t getting enough sleep or activity), make a quick plan to start to remedy the situation. This probably isn’t the time to undertake a major life transformation, but you can set the intention of taking a brisk walk on your lunch hour or getting to bed thirty minutes earlier.

Too often, if we don’t recognize our need for self-care and if we don’t give ourselves permission to slow down, we’ll resort to food and overeating to fill in the gaps or dampen down the stress or comfort us when we’re tired. Being pro-active by allowing yourself some consistent time to slow down and take stock will help you take control of stressful situations and minimize emotional eating.

Take good care,
Melissa

Avoiding Holiday Stress (and Emotional Eating): Tip Two

Savoring and the things you really do have to do

What are the holiday activities and rituals that you enjoy? The ones that revitalize you or give you a peaceful feeling, or that you look forward to each year? Take the time—now—to make a list of your holiday “musts.” Not the “have tos” but the “this is what makes it all worthwhile” experiences.

Now (yes now!) take out your calendar and make sure you have them all prominently scheduled. Don’t just count on them to happen naturally. These “musts” are important. Your holiday joy and energy is going to flow from these experiences and the feelings they generate. Take some time to think about how you can maximize these experiences—how can you savor them fully or increase your ability to focus on them.

Savoring is often the variable that makes the difference between a delightful, soul-warming experience and overindulgence. When we are savoring—whether it is savoring music or good company or your Aunt Mabel’s rum balls—we are nourishing ourselves. When we aren’t tuned in enough to savor, we’re just taking it in. We are much more likely to end up tired, over-stimulated, worn out, and with a sugar hangover.

So what would it take to savor the “musts” on your list even more than you already do? Would it require blocking out more time so you won’t have to rush? Planning something in advance? Delegating? Saying “no” to some other things so you have energy to enjoy the important experience? I challenge you to take the top three experiences you selected and come up with one thing you could do, ask for, or not do that would make the experience even better.

Add a comment and share your list—or the ideas and plans you have to maximize your savoring.

Take good care,

Melissa

Avoiding Holiday Stress (and Emotional Eating): Tip One

This month I'm going to share some of my best ideas for staying in touch with the spirit of the holidays and avoiding the feelings of stress and overwhelm that tend to lead down the road to emotional eating.

Tip One: Noticing

Do you know how powerful it is to really be seen? To have someone look at us and acknowledge our accomplishments, our efforts, our intentions? Close your eyes and imagine someone telling you they see the efforts you make to be the person you want to be.

They might say:
"I see how much courage it took for you to make that presentation to the boss."
or
"It's clear to me how much you value your children."
or
"I notice that you are really trying your hardest to pay off those credit cards."
or
"I notice how hard you work to make the holidays special for everyone."

Most of us DO work very hard at the things that are important to us. Unfortunately, during times of stress or of increased demands, it's easy to get focused on what is "undone" rather than what "is done."

This month, I challenge you to set a goal of "noticing" each of your family members (feel free to try it with colleagues too!) three times a day. It doesn't have to be anything major. Simply acknowledge either their efforts or their intentions.

"I notice that you set the table and I appreciate it."
"I noticed how hard you were working not to let her frustrate you."
"I notice how you always keep your car spotless. It must take a lot of effort."
"I notice that were really frustrated with those Christmas lights but you kept going anyway and now they are up and they look great."
"I notice that in spite of how busy you are, you made my email a priority and it really helped me out."

I think you will be amazed at how far a little noticing goes. When you acknowledge someone, the impact reverberates. It's contagious. It lightens the mood and creates a focus on the positive and on possibility. It absolutely reduces stress.

Take good care,
Melissa