Monday, March 17, 2008

Are You Dreaming Big Enough?

Often, emotional eating happens when people are trying to fill unaddressed gaps in the rest of their lives. Emotional eaters tend to be some of the most giving people on the planet--to everyone but themselves. Taking control of emotional eating also involves taking a close look at the rest of your life. Are you giving yourself what you need? Are you feeding your mind? Your body? Your spirit? I promise it will be much easier to avoid the munchies if you are feeding yourself high quality stuff in these other areas.

Do you dream big? Do you dream at all?

I talk to so many people who have been jolted by the realization that they've been so busy chasing their lives and doing everything that's "expected," that they've stopped moving towards creating what they really truly desire.

So many people have wonderful dreams that are buried just beneath the surface--a book they'd love to write, a business venture they'd like to pursue, a race they'd like to sign up for, or a trip they want to take. If only.

If only they had: more time, more motivation, more get-up-and-go. If only they weren't so busy, or if only they had--more money, more connections, more support. If only they could get organized, or if only they could get some time to think. If only they could figure out the first steps.

Here's what I know:

1. The bigger we allow ourselves to dream, the more we accomplish and the more we start to see what is possible.

2. We don't have to be any more amazing than we already are to do amazing things.

3. We don't have to know exactly how we are going to make our dream come true in order to start pursuing it. But we do need to HAVE the dream. We do need to have to have a clear intention that we're going to do whatever-it-is and we do have to create space in our life for our dreams to emerge.

4. Big dreams usually don't require immediate big steps. Small, steady, consistent steps tend to create the most solid and enduring results.

My coaching challenge for you:

1. You've heard this from me before--set some goals.
It is vitally important to put what we want into words. Set goals that are concrete and goals that you can get excited about--both short term and longer term goals. Think about what you WANT to do, not what you think you SHOULD do. Choose goals that make you smile when you think about achieving them.

2. Ask yourself how and when you can commit time to your dreams.
If you need to create some space, ask yourself what you can give up, say "no" to or delegate. Even if you only have fifteen minutes a day or one Saturday afternoon a month, claim your time. Schedule it for you and write it in your calendar.

3. Ask yourself what you need to get started.
Do you need a boost in motivation or some inspiration? Do you need an actual place to work on your dream? A supporter or a mentor? More information?

Don't expect yourself to solve this problem in one fell swoop. Try to define one small step you could take towards obtaining what you need. Write the step down and set a date by which you'll accomplish that piece.

4. Take Action.
Sharing our goals is one of the most powerful steps you can take. Add a comment and share your dream or your goal and your first concrete step.

Take good care,

Melissa

Digg this

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

Oh, this was so true for me. My overeating kept me trapped in my house, in my fear, and gave me a really good excuse why I couldn't go out into the world and go after my dreams.

Letting go of my food crutches left a gaping hole in my life: a hole that I could fill with positive things, or negative things. I chose to fill it with positive things, and yet, there are times when I still get fearful and want to run and hide.

Yet fear can be a good thing: it means I'm pushing myself out of my comfort zones; that I'm growing and expanding my world. It also means I'm going after something meaningful---if I didn't care, I wouldn't feel scared. As a great book says, "feel the fear---and do it anyway!"

Best,
Karly

Melissa McCreery, PhD said...

Karly,
Thanks for your comment. Regarding the fear, my favorite quote is "Fear is excitement without the breath." When we just breath (or lean) into what scares us (instead of withdrawing in fear), it sometimes gets so much more possible.